Washer Stem. October 30, 2005- July 24, 2016
I am a pretty trashed person right now. 2 weeks ago our puppy dog, Washer, died.
Yeah, you can kick me in the stomach, I am sure it would feel better then this.
First question everyone asks "What happened?" Long story short, for some reason, whether it was something he ate or just from playing way to hard, his stomach flipped inside of him, twisted, then died. There was the animal hospital and surgery and it all happened so fast.... blah, it's still pretty hard to think and talk about. But yeah, he went from being good and healthy to not within hours and the vets did what they could, but they just couldn't save him.
How am I doing? Honestly, I am not great but am starting to come out of the hole a bit. For a while there I just feel apart. Washer wasn't a pet to us, he was pretty much our life, my life. Just about every single thing we did, we did together. All of our decisions, from the smallest things like day to day activities to buying a house revolved around him. (we would have never bought a house that didn't have a giant yard for him). He went to work with us, on all errands, (he loved a good car ride) family events, everything. I think the only places that he never went was to the gym with me and into the grocery store (the mr and him would wait in the car). I can count on both hands the times over his life that we have left him with other people. Washer was our family...is our family and his absence has been overwhelming.
And yes, he was a dog, but he was more then that to me. He was my soul mate, my best friend, my baby. I spent more time talking or just hanging with him then anybody else. We experienced the world together and he showed me things in life that I otherwise might have never seen. Countless sunrise walks. So many sunsets. All the early mornings in winter when the world is perfectly still, the moon is out, and the snow is falling. All of the outdoors, countless hikes, endless swims.(he could swim forever) He took us out into the world, even when we wanted nothing more then to hide away.
He was all unconditional love and unabashed happiness. And he could totally be a complete ass, but he knew it and always felt guilty afterwards (you could tell cause he looked atyou with the sad eyes) He gave so much and never wanted anything from us other then love, well, and food.
And now I am trying to figure out how to be without him. Waking up in the morning, I still find myself looking for him. When I walk out the front door, I still reach for his leash and a poop bag. And that feeling like I need to get home to my pup, like he is waiting for me, it hasn't gone away. I still wake up every morning and go for a walk and the mr and I still go for a walk every day after dinner. We pick him flowers and talk about about all the amazing and stupid things he used to do and how much he did for us. It is crazy looking back at our life over the past 11 years and knowing he was part of almost every moment.
So yeah, I am kinda feeling lost right now. I miss him more then I could ever imagine. I know he lived a freaking fantastic, healthy, and long life, and for that I can take a little comfort. But man, I was not ready for him to go. I guess I never would have been. ( I secretly thought he would live forever, or at least another 50 or so years)
He is one of the greatest loves of my life and I am so fucking lucky to be able to say that.
The best dog that ever was (for us), even when he was being a jerk face.
Love you forever puppy.