Popped Quinoa Chocolate Crunch Bark

My family is big. And my family is crazy. This makes for interesting gift giving.Over the years as we have all gotten older and started having littles, our gift giving has evolved. We use to buy each other presents, but then that got a little to intense and expensive. Then we started coming up withweird gift games where we had to buy 10 things made out of wood or glass and did a kind of white elephant things, which was fun, but we all ended up with wooden spoons and shot glasses.  Or the stockings. We did stockings for a few years where we all stuffed something into each of the stockings, but that got kinda lame when everyone started stuffing packs of gum into them....It was getting to be kinda ridiculous. So this year we decided to give secret Santa a try. The deal is that the 9 older siblings drew names and then the 9 cousins drew names, all with a spending limit of $25. It works out for the best because the littles get to have a little fun and participate, and the adults don't have to go and blow stupid money for kinda stupid shit.  Everyone is responsible for one persons gift of happiness..... And they better make it good!

But one of the things that I love about Christmas is making all the little something. One year I made them each a veggie shaped pillow, and another they each got a hand made box. (I love to give handmade gifts.)So this year I still wanted to give each of the littles a little something too. And not anything to crazy, just something small. And now that we are not stuffing stockings with gum, I figured it wouldn't hurt to give them each a little candy.  They all like chocolate so chocolate it was.  And to zaz it up a little, I popped some quinoa to add some crunch and dear I say, a bit of healthy protein, to the candy. ( sneaky sneaky)

And bonus. this bark can be made in like 5 minutes (1/2 hour to cool) . Wrapped into little wax paper packages with a cute little string, its a super simple, easy, but sweet gift that almost anyone would enjoy (even if you make it and give it to yourself)  And no, you don't have to make it specifically for the holidays, this is just a great little bit of chocolate snack that can be made whenever you damn well please to make it!

The stuff. Chocolate chips (milk, semi sweet, dark, or a mixture) and uncooked quinoa.

Popped quinoa. Fun stuff. Working in small batched,  all you need to do is stick the a layer of uncooked quinoa into a heavy bottom pot, turn heat onto high, grab a spoon and mix the quinoa constantly until it starts to pop. (The seeds will pop up, but as long as you pot is big, they should stay inside) When it starts popping, turn heat down to medium low and continue to stir until the quinoa is golden brown and stops popping as frequently. Don't over pop it our else you will burn it!

Dump the popped quinoa into a holding vessel and pop some more.

Now melt the chocolate. I used the double boiler method (pot of simmering water and a glass bowl) but if you have a microwave, go ahead ans use it.(chocolate in a glass bowl, microwave for 30 second intervals until melted)

Either way you choose, just melt down the chocolate until nice and silky smooth.

Mix the popped quinoa into the melted chocolate...

Then scrap onto a wax paper lined baking sheet and spread out to about 1/4-1/2 inch thick.

Place in the fridge to set up

Once the chocolate has harden, break that shit apart! Big pieces, little pieces. All up to you.

And do what your going to do with it. (wrapped in wax paper with a sting looks so nice if you giving it as a gift)

So simple, so good, so the perfect heartfelt, maybe a little last minutes, gift. Or just a nice little sweet snack with a healthy little kick to it.

And I probably won't be posting until after the holiday so...

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, blah!!!!!

Bye!

-C

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Popped Quinoa Chocolate Crunch Bark

makes 3 cups of bark

• 2 cups chocolate chips (any kind you like)
• 1 cup dried quinoa

To pop quinoa, add enough quinoa to cover the bottom of a heavy bottom pot. Turn heat on high and slowly stir the quinoa until it starts to pop. Once it's popping, turn down to low and continue to stir until all the quinoa is nice and golden brown and the popping isn't as frequent. Dump the quinoa into a bowl ans continue on until you have popped all of it.

To melt chocolate, either use a double boiler (glass boil on top a low boiling pot of water. Add chocolate to bowl and mix until melted) Or use the microwave. (Heat in glass bowl at 30 second intervals until melted)

Combine the popped quinoa to the melted chocolate, mix until combined then pour out onto a wax paper lined baking sheet. Spread the chocolate to about 1/4 inch to a 1/2 inch thick with a spatula and place in he fridge to set.

Once chocolate is hard, remove from fridge and break into chunks.

And eat, share, and save a little for later.

Store whatever uneaten candy away from heat.

Gingerbread Woodland Creatures (Cookies)

I had me a little over the weekend and we had so much fun. We had a dance party, sang Christmas songs, made paper trees, and made cookies. It was a much more of a fun day then I had planned ans expected. (Christmas themed fun day.. uh, yeah!)

But the thing was I wasn't planning on making cookies. Wait scratch that, I was planning on cookies on Friday and asked her mom what kind of cookie we should make.  And by Saturday, I had decided that I had way to much crap to do and didn't have time to make cookies. The little was going to spend the day with me doing errands and maybe a little work stuff.  But that morning, when dropped off at 730 am, the first thing she said to me was "we are making gingerbread cookies today" in the most tiny little sleepy voice.  Not a "are we gong to?", she was saying it as a fact. (her mother must have told her) So yeah, after that, I had to make the cookies. (I am not a monster) And because I now had to make cookies, I just said screw it to everything else I was going to do. I figured I might as well just roll with it and dance to jingle bell rock all day long.

About the cookies. These gingerbread cookies are everything I think a gingerbread should be. Sweet and spicy, dense and crisp, (but not hard) There is a slight snap, but not a tooth breaking snap and as you eat it, the middle of the cookie gets a little softer. They are the best paired with coffee or tea. Words that I have heard describe these cookies are; "fantastic" Oh my God" and "Fucking Amazing". So I am pretty sure that these are a winning cookie.

And sure, we could have made gingerbread people, but really, why make little weird shaped people when you can make a squirrel and a mouse. (step outside of the gingerbread box and make all kinds of shapes!) And although I love me a good neon colored sprinkle situation, I really got into using more natural looking things to decorate. But again, the shape and decor of your cookie is all up to you. 

Note.. Awesome cookie cutters came from IKEA.

The stuff. We have flour, baking soda and powder,and some salt. For the spices we are using ginger (or course) cinnamon, and cracked pepper (for a little extra kick). Also have a bowl with brown sugar, molasses, oil, a splash of vanilla and two chia seed "eggs".

Whisk (or sift) together the flour with all the spices, the baking soda and powder and the salt.

And mix together the oil, chia eggs and vanilla with the molasses and brown sugar.

Look at that cutie... doing all the work.

Mix the dry into the wet like so.

Mix as much as you can with a wooden spoon and when you the spoon stops working, use your hands and form the dough into a large disk.  Wrap it in wax paper (or plastic) and stick it in the fridge for a little while to rest ans evenly distribute all the moisture.

When you are ready for cookies, remove the dough from the fridge ans let it warm up for a few minutes. then take it and roll it out to about 1/2 inch.  And pretty sure you know how to use a cookie cutter so cut some cookies.

A baking sheet of pre -baked creatures going into the oven.

After about 8-10 minutes, the cookies are a little poofy, a little more golden brown, and a lot of super good smelling lovely.

Now if you want, decorate your cookies! (you don't HAVE to, but you should)
 I used white chocolate chips, tiny chocolate chips, dried cranberries and chopped almonds. And for the glaze, just powdered sugar and lemon juice. But use whatever you want.

The creatures..

And my favorite, the porcupine ! (I totally made this one)

-Happy Tuesday!

-C

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Gingerbread Woodland Creatures

Makes about 2 dozen (depending in your cookie cutter sizes)

• 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
• 2 heaping teaspoons ground ginger
• 1 heaping teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon fresh cracked pepper (optional)
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 2 chia or flax eggs (2 tablespoons ground chia or flax seeds with 6 tablespoons warm water)
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 cup molasses
• 1/2 cup neutral flavored oil (like veggie or canola)
• splash of vanilla extract
• Things to decorate with like chopped almonds, raisins, frosting, chocolate chips.. whatever you want

Grab yourself a big bowl and add in the sugar, molasses, oil, vanilla, and the chia eggs. Mix until combined. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour with the all the spices, baking soda and powder, and the salt.  Dump dry into wet and mix with a wooden spoon until a dough form. When yu can no longer mix with spoon, use your hands and knead the dough into a large disk.  Wrap in wax paper or plastic, ans stick in the fridge for at least and hour, or up to 3 days.

When you are ready to make the cookies, remove dough from fridge and let it sit and warm up a little bit so it;s not so stiff and much easier to roll out.

Preheat oven to 350

Working in one big batch or cutting dough half, roll the dough until it's about 1/2 inch thick. Take your cookie cutters of your preferred shape and cut as many out as you can. Place cookies onto a baking sheet and bake between 8-11 minutes or until the cookies have slightly rising and the cookies are just starting to brown. .

Note... Using a cookie cutter with small intricate pieces, the edges might get a little crisper then the middle faster. So just keep your eye out for those.

Remove from sheet and place on a cooling rack.

And decorate, using whatever you want and as much as you want.

Macadamia Nut Chocolate Chunk Blondies

A couple of nights ago we had a little impromptu birthday dinner at my sisters house for the mr.  And what did he want to do for dinner, his very own special birthday dinner? Well what he wanted was to cook, with absolutely no help from me. So cook he did. And what did he make? He made grilled cheese sandwiches, on white bread and with bright orange cheddar cheese along with some classic canned Campell's tomato soup. I was not even allowed to make a salad (but he was being so nice when permitting me to make my own food)

But come on dude, it's your birthday dinner. I was determined to make something so I said I was going to make a dessert. Nothing fancy and no cake (he is not a big cake guy), just something fast and easy. So I went with brownies of the sweet potato chocolate chip kind.  Yeah I know what you are thinking..  why am I not sharing those brownies? I'll tell you why. They came out like shit. Like really gross, almost jello like and just not anything anyone would ever want to eat. Just shit.  OH I was pissed. I mean, the one thing I got to do I screwed up. And there was no fixing them (I tried) So bum, there were no sweet dessert brownies ( but there was ice cream.. thanks Shannon) And worst of all, wasted food. Bah, I hate wasting food! ( I would have fed them to the dog but they were chocolate.... I miss having chickens that eat anything)

Side note here. Watching a lifetime original Christmas movie at the moment (don't judge me)  and it has Harriet and Carl Winslow in it. Talk about a throw back.. and now all I can think about is Urkel and his catch phrase"did I do that?" Anyways....

After the brownie disaster I really needed to make something that didn't suck. I was going to go the brownie route again but unfortunately I used up all of my chocolate and cocoa for the shit batch before, so I went the blonde route. Blondies. close to a cookie, but not quite. A vanilla version of a chewy chocolate brownie.  Chock full of super nutty macadamia nuts and big chunks of chocolate. Nothing missing, the perfect texture and sweetness.  All and more of a better dessert then the night before. Perfection is what I call them and the mr is much happy with his birthday treat (with the added scoop of strawberry ice cream of course)

The stuff. A little bit of white whole wheat flour, some brown sugar, melted earth balance, a couple chia eggs,salt, a pinch of baking powder and some vanilla.  And the mix in that make these blondies so great, the macadamia nuts and chocolate chunks.

It's all super simple. The sugar, chia eggs, earth balance ans vanilla go into a bowl and get mix together until smooth. Then the salt gets sprinkled on along with the baking powder and lastly the flour on top.

And them mix it together unit its all incorporated... and don't over mix!

Chop the macadamia nuts and chocalate chunks in somewhat smaller pieces...

And fold them into the batter.

And grab yourself a square pan, line it with foil or parchment paper, grease it a little, then dump in the batter and evenly pat in down into the pan.

Stick into the oven to bake.

And after 35-40 minutes of the amazing smells coming from your oven, the blondies should be done. Slightly browned, lookng like a cross between a cookie and a brownie, and raw in the middle, but only just.

Let the blondies cool for a few in the baking sheet, but then remove by the foil and cut into squares.

Keep them flat or stack them high. A dessert of the most fantastic kind.

My blonde redemption.

And lastly... HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!

-C

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macadamia nut chocolate chunk Blondies

makes a 9x9 pan of goodness

• -1 cup white whole wheat flour
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 cup melted earth balance
• 2 tablespoons ground chia seeds plus 6 tablespoons warm water
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoon vanilla
• 3/4 cup roughly chopped macadamia nuts
• 3/4 cup of mini chocolate chunks (or chips)

Preheat oven to 350

Grab a bowl and cream together the earth balance and the sugar. Add in the chia eggs, the vanilla,salt, and baking powder and mix . Then add in the flour then mix that until just incorporated with the wet. And lastly, fold in the chopped nuts and chocolate chunks

Dump batter into a foil/ parchment paper lined and slightly greased 9 inch square baking pan and pat down with the spoon or your hand (hand is the way to go) and tick into the oven. Bake for 40 minutes or so until the top is starting to brown almost like a cookie but nice and all brownie like. Check for doneness with a toothpick in middle and if it comes out kinda clean, you can pop them out right there. (Don't over cook.. and if you like a little under baked, do it up, just take them out a few minutes earlier)

Let cool in the pan and pop them out by the liner. Cut into squares (size to be determined by you) Eat one, maybe two, and share the rest (or not).

Lemon Broccoli Biscuits

On my recent shop at the grocery store, I picked me up a bunch of my favorite King Arthur flour, like five 5lb bags because I know that I am probably going to go through it within the next few weeks. (all Christmas cookies) Plus it was on sale. And not just regular all purpose, all of the varieties were on sale, including the self rising flour, which I have never used before. I have been curious so I figured that sale flour meant that I should buy it and try it out. So buy it I did, and I am now a lover of self rising flour.

The first thing I did was look up simple recipes to use and found one on the King Arthur web site for never fail biscuits that were only 2 ingredients. (self rising flour and cream) Well that seems easy enough, except I don't have cream, just soy milk on hand, and I really can't help but wanting to add a little something extra to the mix. So I went with broccoli (in was in the fridge) and lemon. But other then that, still easy biscuits I have ever made.

These biscuits cook up so super fast and take almost not work at all to make.. they seem almost like magic. . Perfect for all of us who rush home before dinner and discover that there is no food in the house. But if you have self rising flour, a quick dump and mix and a little time in the oven, and you got yourself some biscuits thatare super fluffy on the inside, slightly crisp on the outside. The texture is what really surprised me, how tender and biscuit-y they turned out without having to cut in any fat. Amazing!

These biscuits can be turned into any number of dinner options (the mr had buttered biscuits with lentils) and any left overs can be serves up for breakfast.  I wish I had know beforethat self rising flour was so great! It's kinda like have a box of bisquick on hand, but way way better. I think that I am going to have to go back to the store and stock up on this too... I have a feeling that mr is going to be eating all sort of fun flavored biscuits for dinner in the next few weeks.

Oh,  the mr says I have to warn you, . If you don't like broccoli, you will not like these biscuits. But for those who are broccoli people, these will make your day!

The stuff. Some slightly stemmed chopped up broccoli, a lemon, soy milk, ans some self rising flour.

 The soy milkgoes into the bowl with the broccoli and gets blendedup with a hand or (or use a regular blender). And you don't want to make it completely smooth, some chunks are good.

Dump the broccoli soy mixure into the flour and then the zest of the lemon. Add in a tiny pinch of salt.

A quick mix until everything is just incorporated.

And the dough gets plopped onto a baking sheet. Brush the tops with a little lemon juice or water (or a mixture of both) right before they go into the oven... then stick them in the oven.

And after about 20 or so minutes, the biscuits have risen , the tops starting to brown, and the smell from the oven is happy. So you should pull them out of the oven now.

And let cool, just enough to handle, then grab a biscuit, split n half, and smear something buttery on it.

-C

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Broccoli Lemon Biscuits

Makes 12

Adapted from King Arthur's Never Fail Biscuits

• 1 1/2 cups self rising flour(King Arthur flour)
• 1 cup soy milk
• 1 lemon
• 1 cup slightly stemmed broccoli *
• salt to taste
• Any additional flavors you want (garlic powder, pepper, some sumac.. whatever)

Note. Slightly steamed broccoli.. Just toss chopped broccoli into a pot with enough water to cover the bottom of the pot. Stick a lid on it, and place on heat until the broccoli is slightly tender and the water is evaporated, or about 4-5 minutes. Just make sure you don't over cook it and turn it to mush.

Preheat oven to 450.

Dump flour into a big bowl. With a hand or regular blender, blend together the soy milk and broccoli. Dump the wet mixture into the flour. Add in the zest of the lemon and mix until everything is just incorporated. With a spoon or a scooper , scoop out 12 similar size blobs and drop onto a baking sheet. Brush the tops of the biscuits with water or lemon juice and sprinkle with a tiny pinch ofsalt. Place in oven and bake for about 20 minutes or until the biscuits are starting to brown and look done.

Remove from oven and eat as soon as they are cool enough to handle. Eat as is or smear on some buttery something or another.

Sweet Potato Cranberry Muffins and the (Before) Kitchen of the new house

I still can't believe that we bought a new house,  not even a week ago.  Like whoa holy crap!

And with any fantastic and great house that the mr and I would buy, this place needs a fair amount of work (a few walls down, a small addition to the upstairs, and new kitchen and bathrooms to start) But other then the small details of that, this place is a freaking gem. I am more then excited to get to it and start removing, ripping and tearing out the crap to unearth and enhance the beautiful old house to it's glory! Oh man is it going to be a long, fun filled, couple of months ahead of us!

So the day after we closed, we had a bunch of our family and friends come over to check out the place. Me being me, I needed to test out the new kitchen before we completely gut it and like any good hostess, I just had to make sure I had some snacky , good smelling, bakes treat for all the folks coming in and out of the place. So I made muffins. My initial thought was cookies, but I really didn’t want to have to hover over the stove and plus, I had a bunch of sweet potatoes and cranberries that needed using up (sound familiar, this is the muffin for you)

And bonus, the house filled up wit the sweet smell of baking. (That was my plan) and the muffins, they were a hit!

The kitchen!!! Isn’t it  so freaking ugly cute fantastic? Check those windows out. 

So back to the muffins. I was being practical and premixed up some of the stuff  and brought it over to the house. 

The stuff. A bowl of all purpose and whole wheat flour along with some salt, baking powder and soda, cinnamon and ginger. And a bowl of wet which has a a bakes sweet potato, oil, and brown sugar. And a cup of almond millk with a bit of vinegar mixed in and a jar of mostly  chopped up fresh cranberries

Mix the crap out of the wet until the mixture is mostly smooth. I used a plan old baked sweet potato  for this but feel free to use any left over seer potato  casserole you have laying around for this, just adjust spices if there are a bunch already in the potato.

Dump the wet mixture into the (already mixed up) dry mixture and mix along with the vinegar- almond milk until everything is just combined (don't over mix the batter!).

Grab cranberries and fold them into batter. Also can totally use up any cranberry situation you might have left over (maybe not the canned jello kind})

Batter into greased muffin tins and into the preheated oven they go.

More kitchen. Check out that dish washer, its pretty awesome. I am not going to keep it, but I don't want to trash it, its too freaking cool. So anyone want a dishwasher? (still work)  The fridge is new, but we are going to move it to storage and use it in one of our apartments eventually and get a new fringe.  The counters and the cabinets are getting donated and the fake brick background is staying. (HAHA) F no.. That’s coming down like today and unfortunately the super cute flower wallpaper has to come down with it. (I kinda wanted to keep it.. oh well)

 And the little window.. so my favorite part. I have never had me a nice kitchen window before. 

A side view

The othe side of kitchen, where this amazing stove lives.  The stove works, but it’s a little rough. The door is slightly coming off and broiler pan is broken, but other then that, it works fine. I have even though I might try to fix it up and keep it. (the mr is not into that) We will see, but I think we are going to get a new one. (and donate this one). 

So kitchen tour is done Back to the muffins.

 Once they are all nice and golden brown and a tester comes out clean, these babies are done! Take out of oven and remove from pan and let cool on a rack.

The perfect snack for any occasion 

Happy (hopefully relaxing) weekend!

-C

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Sweet Potato Cranberry Muffins

makes 12-14

• 1 cup sweet potato puree
• 3/4 cup all purpose flour
• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon ginger
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 1/3 cup oil
• 1cup almond (or whatever) milk
• 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
• 1 cup fresh chopped cranberries 

Note.. use any left over sweet potato stuff or cranberry sauces that you might have left over.. just adjust seasonings to taste.

Preheat oven to 350

Start by measuring out your almond  milk and adding in the tablespoon of apple cider vinegar. Set aside. In a large bowl whisk together the flours, baking soda and powder, the salt and the cinmoan and ginger. In a separate bowl, mix together the sugar, sweet potato, and the oil until well combined. Dump the wet into the dry and mix together along with the almond milk unit just combined (don't over mix!) Dump in chopped cranberries and fold them in. 

Grease a muffin pan and scoop equal amonts of batter into the tin and place into oven. Bake until golden brown and a tester comes clean from a muffin middle. 

Remove from oven and let cool on a rack

Eat.