Not Your Parents "Shit on a Shingle" (Creamy Lentils and Mushrooms on Toast)

The other day the mister and I started reminiscing about some of our earliest memories of what our parents fed us or what they used to eat when we were growing up. One of the dishes that we both remember eating was the classic creamed beef on toast, or as my mom use to call it, shit on a shingle.   Yup, shit on a shingle. (who ever started calling creamed meat on toast is a freaking genius) I think that as a kid, I liked  the dish just for the mer fact that I could say the word shit and get away with it.  I think my mom liked it for few reasons; she could make a big butt load of it really fast, for a crap load of kids, on the super cheap. And I think that she just really like it.  

Shit on a shingle is one of those foods that I like to call "trash food", you know stuff like beefaroni or pork and beans. Stuff that we all loved as little kids but might think twice about feeding to anyone now. ( I'll still feed nick a can of beefaroni.. he likes it) As a throwback to our earliest food memories, (also a lack of food in the house and wanted to make something fast, easy, and cheap.. thanks mom!) I made the mister my rendition of the classic. Creamy Lentils and Mushrooms on toast. Not quite as trashy as creamed beef (lentils, mushrooms and onions are not trashy) but you get the same reminiscing feeling. I guess I could call it something like "stuff on a shingle" or lumps on a shingle", but what kid (or adult)  would want to eat that. Let's just stick with shit, it makes it more awesome to eat it.

The shit….. A few mushrooms, a bit of onion, cooked lentils, flour, milk, oil, salt and pepper, and garlic powder. And the shingles.. 2 pieces of thick white country bread. Slice the mushrooms and the onion and toss into a skillet with a drizzle of oil. Cook on medium heat until browned and fragrant..Remove from pan.In the empty pan still on medium heat, add in the olive oil and the flour. Whisky constantly, slowly add in the milk. Keep whisking until sauce thickens. Remove from heat. Add in  salt, pepper, and garlic powder.Add the mushrooms and the lentils into the sauce and give it a good mix. Oh, and don't forget to  toast up the bread. Now dump that shit all over those shingles! Oh the memories.

If you need to, make it classy by serving it with a cloth napkin and a nice fork and knife. But eat it however you need to. (As kids we like dirty hands and no fork, preferably with a big tall glass of overly sweetened red flavored kool-aid)

Enjoy this fantastic Spring weekend!

-C

---

 Shit on s Shingle (Creamy Lentils and Mushrooms on Toast)

One serving

• 1 cup cooked lentils
• 2- 3 mushrooms
• 1/2 small onion
• 1 cup milk (cow, nut, plant… whatever you want)
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 tablespoon flour
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• salt and pepper
• 2 pieces of nice thick but soft white sandwich bread

Slice the mushroom and onion and toss into a pan or skillet with a drizzle of oil. Cook on medium heat until brown and fragrant than dump onto a plate. In same skillet, add the oil and the flour and mix with a whisk while slowly adding in the milk. Keep whisking until sauce starts to thicken. Turn heat to simmer and add in the cooked lentils and the sautéd mushrooms and onions. Push down the bread in the toaster.. and when it pops up, dump the shill over it.

So Good Pineapple Dill Kale Salad

Last week pineapples were on sale everywhere……So I bought 5. Don't judge 

And I bet I am not the only one that got overly excited at $1.50 pineapple and bough themselves a few. We will just call ourselves opportunists.  Now we have plenty of pineapples and don't have to pay  the $4 a piece prices. (Justification)  

But if you don't have a pineapple laying around, you must go get one. (Maybe if your lucky, there might still be some sales going on) because you must make this salad. I am on a mission to make everyone I know eat it because, for lake of a better way to say it…….It will rock your world.

Dill and pineapple are a serious match made in heaven. Pineapple, with its sweet, tangy, citrusness  and dill with it's super fresh earthiness. Mixed together with a few other helpers to create a fresh, clean, chunky, tangy, over the top, flavor. I could stop right there, but toss in a handful of lentils, some creamy avocado and a bed of kale…It's like the best spring time, celebration on you tongue, happiness in you tummy, kind of salad.

A salad that will make you smile. (and maybe buy  5 pineapples) 

 Stuff for the goodness. We got the kale, some avocado because all salads should have avocado and some cooked lentils because, well, all salads should have lentils (or beans or nuts.. so you could totally something else) Then a few sprigs of fresh dill, a clove of garlic, red wine vinegar, salt and a bowl of chunked up pineapple. The pineapple, dill, garlic, red wine vinegar, a splash of water and a pinch of salt get blended in a blender or whatever blending device you use. Go as smooth or chunky as you like, I recommend going smooth, but leaving a little chunk, like half blended.

The prep is done, now compile.  Kale in bowl, top with lentils,. Toss on avocado chunks, and, last but not least, the blended pineapple dill mixture.So good……So so good.

Happy Friday!!

-C

---

So Good Pineapple Dill Kale Salad

Serves Two

• 3 cups washed and chopped Kale
• 1/2 a avocado, diced
• 1 cup fresh pineapple chunks
• 1-2 springs fresh dill
• 1 tablespoon Red Wine Vinegar
• Salt 
• 1/2 cup cooked lentils (or any bean or nut will do)

Note. No fresh dill? You can use dried, just sub in 1 teaspoon for the fresh and after blending with the pineapple, let sit a little longer to really let the flavors meld together. 

Place pineapple, dill, pinch of salt, vinegar and garlic into a blender or whatever you own that blends and blend stuff together, leaving it a little chunky. Let sit for 5-10 minutes.

Kale goes into a bowl and add the lentils and diced avocado. Pour the blended pineapple on. Toss around. 

Now eat.

Twice Baked Lentil Stuff Sweet Potatoes

Whenever my little sister comes over for dinner, I always end up making lentils in some form or another because she, like me, is awesome and loves a good lentil. It makes me so happy that she has such great taste in food and wants to eat what I make.  It's validation from a teenage girl which is the best kind of validation. 

So last night when she came over after school for dinner and trash talk (she likes to verbally abuse Nick)  we decided  to make both of our favorites … Lentils AND sweet potatoes. How can you go wrong with that combo? Well I am telling you that you can't. The rich creamy soft and slightly sweet sweet potato mixed up with the hearty, earthy, oh so fantastically tasty lentil. Add in a bit of kale and cheese if you wish and serve with salsa and guac... Whoa, it's the best!!!

Such a great evening, I get to the cooking, the sister gets to the verbal abuse and the mister, begin the champ that he is, takes it and dishes it right back. 

I am the greatest(coolest) sister. 

Baked sweet potatoes, cooked lentils, chopped up kale and monetary jack cheese (Cheese is optional.. and make it vegan cheese if you want) And you don't need then, but salsa and guacamole are the best toppings.. So you have them. 

Cut the cooked potato in half lengthwise and scoop the flesh out into a bowl. With a fork, smooth the potato , sprinkle with salt and pepper and mix in lentils and kale.

Stuff the mixture back into the skins of the potato.

And add some cheese (The mister and the sister wanted lots of cheese, no cheese for me) and stick the potatoes into the oven and let bake for another 5 or so minutes or until the cheese is all melty or the top is nice and crispy. 

Remove and plate… Serve with salsa and guacamole and maybe some corn chips.  

I am the greatest sister

-C

---

Twice Baked Lentil Stuffed Sweet Potatoes

Makes 2 serving

• 1 Large Sweet Potato
• 1 cup Prepared Lentils
• 1 cup Chopped Kale
• 1/2 cup Grated Monetary Jack Cheese (Vegan style or not) 
• Salsa (optional)
• Guacamole(optional)

Place potato in oven at 400 degrees for 30-40 minutes or until soft a baked throughout.

While potato is baking, prepare lentils.  2 cups water to 1 cup lentils. Add water and lentil to pot, bring to a boil, add a sprinkle of salt, and reduce to simmer until lentils are tender. 

When potato is cooked, remove potato  and let cool for a few minutes. Cut in half lengthwise and scoop out most of the flesh out of the skins and place into a big bowl. WIth a fork, mash the potato a bit  Add in the lentils and the kale, a sprinkle of salt and pepper, and mix to combine. Stuff the mixture back into the skins of the potatoes and top with cheese. (if using ) Place potatoes back into oven for 5-10 minutes until cheese is melty and bubbly or the top of the potato is a bit crispy. Remove from oven and serve on a plate with salsa and guacamole.

Eat and be happy. 

Lemony Garlic Lentils

Yay Tuesday! Which means its lentil day in my house. Ok not really, because everyday is lentil day in my house. Why? Because they are pretty much the best.  And with the addition of lots of garlic and lemon…..whoa nelly!!! Eat your heart out.But for serious, not only are these little bits of happy legumes oh so tasty, they also are a nutritional whomper.  So much protein, iron and zinc, magnesium and a bunch of other good stuff. Low in calorie and fat. Shelf stable, cheap, and fast and easy to cook. They are fantastic in soups, sauces, casseroles and salads. Eat them warm, cold, plain or covered in mustard. There possibilities with these little guys are endless. If you do not have lentils in your pantry right now, you are crazy. Make it  priority to get some. Do it today, and make these fantastically yummy lentils for dinner. Trust, you won't be sorry.

Lentils, water (not shown but I think you know what it looks like) lemon, garlic, and some salt and pepper. Cabbage and kale to make it that much better.

Add a cup of lentils to a pot with minced or pressed garlic, the zest of the lemon and the juice of half the lemon. (save the other half to squeeze on top later) Add in 2 1/4 cups water , a sprinkle of salt and pepper, and bring to a boil. Place a lid on pot and turn heat down to low. Let cook for about 15 - 20 minutes or until lentils are just about done.

Now top the almost done lentils with  the cabbage and the kale. Add a splash of water and a pinch of salt  and replace lid. Keep pot on simmer for another 5-8 minutes until the veggies are wilted.  This gives you a slightly cooked, but still nice and crisp veggie. If you like you veggies a bit more soft, just add them into the lentils a little earlier or don't even cook them at all. It's whatever you want.

After a few minutes take the lid off and…aahh. Smells like cozy lemony garlicy happiness. 

 A big steaming bowl of everything that is good. Serve with an extra wedge of lemon to squeeze on top!

Tuesday Ah HA!

Make your day AWESOME!!!

---

Lemony Garlic Lentils 

• 1 cup dry lentils
• 2 1/4 cups water
• 4-5 cloves garlic
• 1 lemon (juice and zest)
• Salt and pepper
• some shredded cabbage
• a few kale leaves

Add water, lentils, the zest and juice of 1 lemon and about a teaspoon of salt and pepper to a pot. Mince garlic and add that in too.  Bring to a boil then place a lid on it and turn down to simmer. After about 15 minutes, give lentils a stir. At this point the lentils should be a al denta, but just about done.( If you notice the lentils seem dry, just add a bit more water) Layer on the cabbage and kale, adding in a splashof water. Replace lid and let simmer of another 5-8 , or until lentils are cooked and the veggies are you cooked to your liking. 

Lentil stuffed Delicata rounds of Awesome

I know, it's just so good. I will eat lentils all day, everyday, plan or with vinegar…Curried or with mustard.The same with squash, I am always going to the fridge to scoop a bit of acorn or pumpkin into my mouth. Whoa now,  Just last night I accidentally ate my lunch for today, an entire ball jar of lentils mixed with pumpkin puree… oops…..kinda.

What we have here are chopped up veggies mixed with lentils, a splash of vinegar, and stuffed into the holes of delicate squash. What, that's not right… What we have here is AMAZING!!! We are talking the absolute perfect dish. These tight little packages are everything that I want in a food and can be eaten hot or cold, with a fork or with your fingers, on a plate with some rice or quinoa, or in my case, standing in front of the refrigerator.(At least I had the decency to close the door while I was standing there!)

These rounds are a quick and easy and just happen to be a perfect Thanksgiving dish. Not to  big, unlike the over used stuffed acorn squash where you have to really commit and eat the entire thing. No, people can take one nice little rounds and it doesn't cover their entire plate Or take three cause they are that good. The colors are bright, the presentation is simple and flavor really bring out the happy in my Thanksgiving. You bring these to the table and people with think you are awesome. They will think you are beautiful. So smart and intelligent.. You really can't go wrong here with this one. No..You really can't.

To start, grab the dried lentils. If you have never cooked lentils, you are stupid. No, wait, you are not stupid, but if you don't start cooking them after this, then you are stupid. Lentils are the most delicious, nutritious , not to mention cheap food. They are fuss free and fast…You now have no excuse. Now, rinse and check for the stray stone, In a heavier bottom pot, mix one part lentils  to about 2 parts water. Exact measuring is not needed, just don't let you lentils dry out and burn. If you think you need more water, them add a bi more. Add a sprinkle of salt and bring to a boil for a minute. Turn heat to low and let simmer unit done to you preference, about 15 minute. I suggest a little on the al-dente side.

You have your lentils on the stove, now is the time to get those squash rounds in the oven.. All you need to do is cut the delicata into 1 inch rounds, scoop the seeds and roast in oven for 10 on each side..This is a really easy squash, easy to cut, minimal seeds and oh so pretty.

  

While the lentils are cooking and the squash is a-roastin finely chop a small red onion, a small red bell pepper, and 2 medium sized mushrooms. Throw them in a pan on medium heat with a tiny splash of oil just so the veggies don't stick. Cook until fragrant and tender, but not mushy. Finely chop the kale and either finely chop or grate carrot. Put the carrot and kale into a big bowl. The addition of the hot lentils and veggies will wilt the kale down to just right and the carrots will be that nice little crunch crunch crunch in the mixture.

Add the cooked down veggies to the bowl of kale and carrots. Mix in about 2 cups of cooked lentils, a sprinkle of salt and pepper and a splash of red wine vinegar or balsamic. The squash should be done and ready to fill.

Now here is the tricky part.. Dont eat the entire bowl of the lentil mixture. I am not saying that I did, but I am not saying that I didn't. All I know is that I might have had to make another batch…

Anyways.. Let the squash cool a bit on the pan or sheet, just enough so you don't burn your hands when your handling it. You have squash with holes, you have lentil mixture…Stuff the lentils mixtures into the holes. Dont just scoop a little, really stuff and overflow those babies. Stick them back into the oven for another 6-8 minutes, just to let everything cook and marinate together.

Remove from oven and OOh and AAAH.. To finish, drizzle a tiny bit of vinegar on top of each round. Trust that you want it. Not a lot, just a drizzle

You have done it! Now serve and eat…Or, let cool completely on pan, cover with foil and stick in the fridge for the next day. All you need to do is pop them back in the oven for 15 minutes until hot all the way through.  Fast, easy, and can be made ahead… Its ok, you can stop applauding me, I know I am Awesome!

ENJOY!!!!!!!!!

RECIPE

This recipe makes 12-14 one inch rounds

• 2 Delicata Squash
• 2 cups prepared lentils
• 1 small red onion
• 1 small red pepper
• 2 mushrooms..(I used white button)
• 1 small carrot
• a few kale leaves
• salt and pepper
• Red wine Vinegar. (Balsamic Vinegar works too)

Directions.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

Wash squash and cut into 1- 1/2 inch rounds. Remove the seed and guts..(Set aside for roasting). Place rounds on a very lightly oiled or parchment lined  baking sheet. Place in oven, letting round bake for about 20 minutes, flipping each round after about 10 minutes. Squash is done when just fork tender..

While squash is baking, finely dice the onion, pepper,and mushrooms. Place in a skillet with a splash of oil on medium low heat until veggies are soft and fragrant, Finely chop kale and carrots and place in a large bowl. Once veggie mixture is done, transfer to bowl with ale and carrots. Add 2 cups of lentils.. Mix with salt and pepper and a teaspoon of vinegar.

Once the delicata is cooked and cooled enough to handle, Scoop a generous amount of the lentil mixture into each round, slightly packing the mixture in. Place back in oven for another 6-8 minutes or, you can let them completely cool, wrap the baking sheet in foil and stick in fridge until you need them.When ready to serve, reheat for 10-15 minutes in oven at 400 degrees.  Remove from oven and serve with a drizzle of vinegar on each round,